Laurie, on #2 there, have you checked if she was married and widowed prior to baby 1 being born? It happens. And back then, they seemed to remarry quickly, knowing the fate of women and children without a husband. So this woman who was a pillar of her church still could have been if there had been a short lived marriage prior to the marriage that happened right before the baby was born.
My great grandmother apparently had 4 different fathers raising her until she married. Each of those fathers except the last one died while she and her mother were still fairly young. She had 5 half siblings from the second marriage of her mother, and 4 step siblings from the 4th husband. She outlived all 4 of them eventually. The same think sort of happened with my great grandmother's marriages as well. Get married, have a child, and husband drops dead. In her case, the child died at about 2 years old. Then she married my great-grandfather who was also her step brother, and possible 1 cousin as his mother and her mother were possibly sisters. This is still something we are looking for but so far cannot find either lady's parents names.