Shalon Hoyle's Blog – November 2014 Archive (6)

The next few years were spent getting to know people.  There was the day my dad's older sister came to the house.  She was the first one we connected with.  She lived only two hours away.  She didn't tell us her last name or any personal information.  Everyone was scared.  What will they think of us?  Will they want something from us?  And then she walked in the door and 45 years of separation started to melt away - awkwardly at first, but then in front of me I saw a 14 year old girls who…

After my dad said "Is it you," there was silence.  I don't think it was probably more than a couple of seconds, but it felt like days.  And then I heard something amazing.  "Oh my God, Terry, how the hell are ya?"  Guess what?  Terry had been in contact with everyone?  For twenty years!  I spoke with Terry that night, which, by the way, was a feeling I can't put into words.  He told me he heard dad say "My name is Jerry," and he didn't hear anything else.  He knew it was his brother.  By the…

My dad's next trip was to the Annie Wittenmyer Home.  It had not been an orphanage for many years and had been turned into a library.  Dad walked the grounds and pointed out which dormitory was his and which was his brother's and sisters'.  He reminisced, not fondly, about the house mothers.  They went inside and asked if there was anything left from the orphanage days.  There was one, small file with a notebook in it.  Every year, the home held a reunion for former kids and employees.  In…

I have to start by saying I understand the premise of adoption law.  It protects birth parents, adoptive parents and children.  It has, however, become the bane of my existence.  A very nice lady named Kim, who worked in the adoption office verified that she was looking at my dad's file.  She verified there was information on all seven children.  She read some basic, descriptive information - my grandfather was a tall, angular man -  just enough to leave us wanting more before adoption law…

Fast forward to 2001.  I have graduated from college and moved back home.  I was working full-time.  All of the sudden my dad ends up in emergency heart surgery.  Always a fast healer, he bounced back fairly quickly.  I've always heard that being faced with your own mortality can change your life, but I was hoping he'd quite smoking, eat healthier, etc.  I had no idea his surgery would change his MIND.  One day, out of the blue and very matter of factly, he says "I'm going to find my…

I don't remember not knowing my dad was adopted.  I don't remember an earth-shattering revelation that my grandparents were not my grandparents.  I vaguely remember my dad explaining what "adopted" meant, but it didn't seem like a big deal.  If you asked him, my dad would tell you the very few things he remembered about his siblings and his dad, his grandmother and step-grandfather and that he remembered almost nothing about his mom, except that she was hardly ever around.  Here are a few of…