FindAGrave Addicts

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Comment by Elizabeth Graf on March 20, 2012 at 3:43pm

Well I just want to say thank you to all the volunteers!

Comment by Rick in Indy on March 20, 2012 at 12:00pm

@Leonard - I understand and agree with your beliefs about courtesy. I always thank folks for photos taken for me (as far as I know). I expect to receive thanks but know that it won't always happen. I also agree with others that I do this for my enjoyment and furthering the cause above all.

Comment by Leonard Smith on March 20, 2012 at 11:36am

I am really sorry I opened this can of worms. I will continue to take photos and it is not linked to any need I have for people to feel grateful to me. I have been in love with cemeteries for decades. I also love history and people and their graves are history. 

I believe in courtesy and am offended if it is not shown me. I guess that is my human flaw. I was told by someone years ago that people don't appreciate what they don't pay for. Some truth in that I think. 

Comment by Mary Moran on March 20, 2012 at 11:24am

Hey Chuck, it wasn't a Leonard.  I do wonder though if he hadn't received any thank you's because he didn't realize his public comments were off!  

Comment by Chuck Seyferth on March 20, 2012 at 11:17am

To Mary:  His name wouldn't happen to have been Leonard, would it?

Comment by Mary Moran on March 20, 2012 at 11:06am

I always try to thank people for photo's but I'm sure I've missed a few along the way unintentionally.  I had an interesting one recently.  Someone contacted me about a photo request of mine.  He said he would provide the picture IF I would send him a thank you.  Ummm...well, since I almost always do thank people that wasn't a problem for me but he had his public comments turned off.  So I sent him an email saying I'd be happy to thank him but his comments were turned off did he want me to thank him in email.  Next day the photo was uploaded and his comments were turned on.  So I thanked him.  :)  

Comment by Julia Mitchel on March 20, 2012 at 10:57am

Bob is correct in that "it's so easy to misjudge someone when we haven't walked a mile in their shoes?

I am a F.A.G. volunteer because I enjoy walking cemeteries and viewing the interesting stones, family history, and helping people put the pieces of their families together. Someday someone will do me the same favor.

I do this for ME, not for thank you's.

Comment by Bob Rowe on March 20, 2012 at 10:44am

I thought of another reason people may not have said thank you. There are many times that I am going in five different directions in this very busy world. I know for a fact that there are emails in my inbox that need a response and sometimes I forget all together unless they ping on me again. I hope that I have thanked everyone who has ever provided a marker photo for me over the years, but there is a chance that I haven't. Almost without exception we are all living busy lives and forget to do some things. It is easy to misjudge someone when we haven't walked a mile in their shoes.

Comment by Eric Andrist on March 20, 2012 at 10:19am

I'm not saying a thank you isn't appropriate....it is. But to EXPECT a thank you and then bitch about it when you don't get it, negates any good deed you've done. Perhaps you should contact the person with your "thank you" rules before you offer to help them and tell them that if they don't thank you, you're not going to help them. That way, you'll be alleviated of any upset you might cause yourself when they don't thank you. 

For me, doing a good deed far outweighs the need to hear someone thank me. I just don't need credit in order to do something good. 

Comment by Leonard Smith on March 20, 2012 at 9:49am

I don't think expecting civility and courtesy is unreasonable. I may be flawed and unreasonable. I will do for others and expect nothing but if you ask me for help and then lack the good manners to say thanks I will not help you again. 

When a person posts a photo request they are hoping someone will take time and expend an effort to fulfill that request. A thank you is appropriate.

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